WHY CAN'T SHE JUST SAY THANK YOU????

My mother celebrated her 77th birthday back in January and usually I send her a bouguet of flowers ON her birthday...this time I sent her 2 plants in the same pot..compatible plants ..they looked nice on the internet..a few weeks later (yeah it takes her time) I received the infamous "thank you" note...she thanked me and told me how much she liked them..wasn't sure what they were but there was instructions on how to care for them..Wellll...thank goodness for that I said to myself..It never fails ... that either before or after she thanks me she has to put something a wee bit flawfull in there i,e.I don't know what they are.. instead of just thanking me and saying she liked them..and leaving it at that..its the tone..I can hear it through the note...

Last Christmas I sent her a pair of pajamas ..wasn't even sure she wore pajamas or what size..we hadn't seen each other at that time for at least 6 years(since her mother, my grandmother, my heart passed away..)My mom was always a 12 or 14 I thought...even larger at some times ..so I got her a large I believe...well here came the note weeks later telling me how pretty they were ,,but they were very big on her,,but she said 'everyone likes big pajamas anyway"..what???? couldn't just thank me.. had to put something negative in there..it was the tone..see to you it probably doesnt sound negative...but believe me I remember her tone...

anyway after receiving the note from her birthday..I did what I've done so many times before..I wrote to her asking why our relationship is okay like this with her...that we are both older folks ..I am 57 ..she is 77 and is this the way it ends...there never really was a close relationshp betweeen us and she still doesnt want one apparently...she wrote back a nasty little note saying she didn't drive to see me when she was in her forties..she's sure as hell not going to drive to see me in her 70's...I never asked her to drive anywhere to see me..I would go to her if I felt welcome or was invited...but never...so alone I cry a lot still over the loss of my mother way back when I was about 18 ...she was never there for me ...she doesnt know my children or thier children and I feel sorry for her and my children and grandchildren..and for me..