For the coming New Year..

Well I suppose after my youngest brother not showing up on Christmas that I will go the rest of the year without seeing him...I'm a bit superstitious but also know that even if there was no superstition I still will not see him,,,thats just the way my family is...One day I will totally accept that I am it..It starts with me for my kids and grandkids..I am the matriarch right now and so be it...their loss...I just want to live a LONG life and I need to really get this health issue in check...Miss my family ..wish it was another way but wishing won't so it..Praying hasn't helped so I guess this is the plan...I don't know why I feel bad for my kids and grandkids not knowing my mom and my brothers and my brothers children and grandchildren..because if they don't want to be part of our lives why should I even want my kids to know them anyway...

We had a wonderful time on Christmas in spite of them..We always do and I spose we always will...Its not the only time of the year we all get together..brother and sisters and cousins...we get together every Easter...usually at my youngest daughtter Jeanells house..have Easter Egg hunts with the kids and of course there's a golden egg to be found...and then for all 7 birthdays we get together..some how..somewhere..be it Chucky Cheese or Happy Tymes or someones house..we do it up...But Christmas and Easter are for all 7 of them together..just an awesome sight and I sm very proud of all of them..

My wish for them and myself and our friends and extended families is to have the best New Year ever..to be happy and healthy and financially sound...each and every one of us..God wrap your arms around us and keep us as a unit...today ....until the end of time..

One more Christmas with my family

Ya know each year I say well I made it another year..it's not that I'm obsessed with the thought of dying ,,I just don't take it for granted that I will be here forever..I am truly blessed with each passing day..I am one of the lucky ones..I am in contact with my kids and grandkids everyday...none of them live very far from home and are all just a phone call away..we are very close and someone is always calling someone and we all know whats going on in each others lives..(well mostly everything)..~~

Today is December 25, 2009 and in about 6 hours my home will be filled with noise and laughter of my 4 children and 7 grandchildren..I invited my youngest brother to join us if he wanted..he hasnt been here in about 25 years or so for Christmas..hopefully he will stop by for a little while anyway..just would love for my kids and grandkids to see that I have another extension of my life..my mother doesn't keep in touch and me and my oldest brother are estranged ..so Scotty is the only connection that I have from a past...I would love for the kids to get to see him and get to know him and for the grandkids to know that wow grandmom has a brother...and take a few pictures for the photo albums...we'll see....the ball is in his court...its ashame that my oldest brother and I are at odds, cause my kids and his kids used to be close...I would love for them to keep their relationships alive,,but they have dwindled thru the years also..there are 2nd cousins that dont even know cousins and thats the shame of it all...and they are only about 30 miles from one another..I can only hope that in my lifetime my brother will come to his senses and contact me..I've done all I could do...you would think that getting older would spark a thought..thats a whole another story though..right now I will enjoy the day and my family and oh yeah HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS...YOU ARE THE REASON FOR THE SEASON. and I make sure the grandkids know it before they start ripping wrapping paper and getting giddy with joy....love to all~~