I CRY FOR MY MOTHER STILL

I grew up in a middle class neighborhood and had parents who worked hard..my grandparents lived 2 blocks from us and we always saw them..every Sunday was church then to Mommom and Poppops for dinner..we would play game sfter dinner and then watch the Ed Sullivan show..sometimes we had to sit thru Lawrence Welk and a movie came on every Sunday night at 7 …Disney movie…had the best childhood…then I grew up.. left at 18…had my first child at 19 and soon after that marriage failed….I went on to find true love for 15 years anyway and 3 more children later …it failed also…

At this point in my life my mother is alive still she just turned 77 and we have no relationship..for whatever reason is unbeknownst to me..my mother has 3 children who she chooses to have no contact with..its a sad story..and I have journals all over my house with writings of my mom and how I wish she was in my life..I have written to her many times and asked why and I never get an answer…my children never knew my mother,their grandmother..although God did bless me with the best grandmother in the whole world(my mothers mother , no less) and she was like a mother to me and she adored my children and they did get to know her..only one of my grandchildren ever got to meet my grandmom…the others were all born after she passed away…she fell in the bathroom of the retirement home she was staying and died 13 days later..one week to the day after her 90th birthday…I thought I was going to die the day she left us..I still cry for my mother at 56 years old..so it doesnt matter how old you get …you still long for your mother..


..she chooses to be by herself ..I have written to her ..I send her gifts at Christmas and flowers for her birthday and Mothers day..every year for a long time..I do get thank you notes back in the mail..I last saw my mother when I rode in the car with her at my grandmothers funeral back in 2002..and before that it had been years also…someday I will gather all my notes and journals and write a book on this relationship we have or should I say don’t have…



It is a sad story of my mom..I blog often about it..I cry even at my age 56 for missing my mother …i have journals full of thoughts of my mom…but thats a whole nuther story....I love my mom and send het flowers on her birthday..send her gifts at Christmas and for Mothers day..I always get thank you notes from her..I keep her posted with grandkids pictures and she comments on them(they are her great granchildren) and she only knows one of them (the 15 yr old) and has only seen her 5 times in her life..so i do what I can…end of story..