Dallas and Laney just left for dance school..they spent Thursday and Friday night at my house overnight..Now that they're gone the house is quiet and I have too much time to think...Of course my mind wants to dwell on my mom...Got a note from her yesterday thanking me for the flowers I sent her for Mother's Day, ..apologized for it taking so long to get here...So today my mind takes me to the thought about how people always use the excuse as to why they are the way they are because of their past or how they were raised...because thats all they know...what a bunch of B.S that is...What they should say is, "I lack common sense , so I thought I'd follow in their footsteps...they were abusive and I didn't like it so I think I'll do the same to my kids."
I am 56 years old and remember my mom geting mad at a vacuum cleaner and picked it up and tossed it across the floor..I remember at that moment saying to myself ."I have to remember to never do that in front of my children because I don't want anyone to feel like I do right now."I remember saying that to myself...I remember being scared..my mom never hit us..but I was scared at the noise of it and to see my mom so mad...I remember her slamming kitchen cabinets too..and being scared...not that we don't all have issues with temper now and then..I'm just saying I remember these...I remember her throwing a fork at my brothers back..he was a teenage pain in the ass at the time..and she lost it...
I made a decision in my mothering years to not be like my mother...I keep busy helping to care of my grandchildren.. This morning I helped get Dallas and Dellaney dressed for dance class and then they left....and then I thought and then I wrote..
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