I love them ....I do...

With all of my heart I love them...but can't have them stay too long...It starts depressing me after awhile...people moving back in...by people I mean one of the kids coming back home. Honest to God they've all done it at least twice...I don't like most of their living habits..nothing like mine at all...scary...I raised them and yet each one is totally different in the way they live...shouldn't their be some similarities....maybe not between me and them but between at least two of them...their are four...2 boys and 2 girls...None of them is as organized as I am..or as tidy...I'm not anal about cleanliness but I do like the place clean and as organized as possible under any set of circumstances..I don't think I ask too much..just keep momma happy..!!
I have simple rules for the most part..common sense really...Put the trash in the trash can..put the dirty clothes in the hamper and pick up after youself...SIMPLE??? I thought so...I mean they can live however they want in their own places but when you're at my place or coming back to stay for a minute ( by minute I mean hopefully not too long) then pick up after your kids..why should I with my crippled ass have to do it...and for me to do it means getting on the floor with my hand vac and cleaning that way....not so easy to do..geting up is even worse...just have some compassion and respect....
I don't have a problem with the "empty nest" thing..I love the nest empty..none of them are far away..the furtherest one is like maybe at the most 15 miles away..The oldest is still at home but he has no children and for the most part helps me out a bit....I'm lucky and blessed in that I didn't go through menopause either..well I guess I went through it..but no hot flashes or night sweats or attitude problems or depression ....nothing...just no period anymore...oh yeah..thats a best point for me...I don't mind growing old..I just don't like being closer to death..I have lots to see yet..And with that I close this session. I feel better now..Today is Dellaneys birthday(June 27) she is 4 today...Happy Birthday baby girl...!!!grandmom loves you with all of her heart!!You're a princess!!!

It Hurts in the pit of my stomach..

My youngest daughter has been with this guy for 10 years now..they did break up for about 3 years for a period...so anyway he buys an engagement ring and asks her officially to marry him in May of this year..she said yes and immedialtely begins planning her wedding...He had asked her before but she never really said yes or no one way or another..she never wanted the duty of planning a wedding...although shes the one in the family that plans Christmas , Easter, and Halloween for the family..its sort of "her thing"..but she didn't want the task of planning hers or anyone else's wedding....
So 2 of her bridesmaids have their gowns...the invitaions have been bought...the hall has been reserved...20 disposable cameras have been purchased to be placed on the reception tables for the guests to take picures and leave the camera behind for the bride and groom to develop and have slews of pictures that would have been otherwise missed... the mother of the brides(me) outfit and shoes have been bought .....but now the invitaions will be used for scrap cards...the 2 bridesmaids gowns will be put up for sale on Bonanzle....the mother of the bride will keep her outfit for some future function.....the cameras I already have for sale on Bonanzle and we will be calling the hall to see if some of the money can be refunded....
She says she feels like a fool and is embarrased that shes calling the wedding off...shes known all along that he was a jerk...he makes good money ...but lacks in fathering skills and man skills...(they have 2 children together...a boy age 5 and a princess age 4 in a few days...)
I'm so glad this is over...I did give my blessings for this wedding only because I thought she really wanted it ....but they've had trouble since they got back together about 2 years ago...hes wishy washy and I'm not saying she's the easiest person to live with but shes an excellent mother and has never done him wrong.......
He works for the sheriffs department and he ego trips...because he has a gun and a badge he thinks hes King of the world...he has no personality and no sense of humor..to see him smile is a miracle...so I really never thought he liked himself...I love him don't get me wrong...but hes a jerk and he lies...
I know shes hurting right now but she will bounce back...the straw that broke the camels back was this past weekend when he went missing...her and I and about 20 other people were worried about him and had a missing persons report on him..hes a diabetic and we didnt think he had his medication....he left all weekend(fahers day weekend) and never called to let her know he was okay(they live together) or where he was...she had fathers day plans for them....Monday morning I called his supervisor(whom by the way was on the hunt for him with us during his dissapearance ...so knew what we went through and how upset we were not knowing where he was.).and I asked him if Mr X had reported to work and as luck would have it he did...that was it..she thanked God for his being alive and the fact that she didn't have to have "that conversation" wih her children and she started packing and calling the wedding off ...again...she called it off a few weeks ago but he wormed his way back...I'm confident that won't happen again...so for now her and the children are here with me (and the dog)....and I'm happy to have them (hopefully not for too long)...she is looking for a place...It hurts in the pit of my stomach because I've been hurt before and I'm feeling for her...but I seeing a weight lifted off of her...and she'll be fine....what a way to get rid of 220 pounds and 6 feet 5 inches worth of crap....

In Honor of My Father...Joe

I think of my father often...my mind is on home especially today...Fathers Day 2009..My father paseed away on March 16. 1989....He was way too young..only 60...He died of lung cancer...I miss my father and I cry for him from time to time..I miss grandmom too...she died at 90 in July of 2002..she fell on the bathroom floor and 13 days later she passed away...

If my father were here today he would be old...but I would like to have taken him to lunch..Him and I did lunch a lot...He always wanted to talk about insurance...did I have enough and told me of his for when he passed away...I didn' like talking about insurance but he wanted me to understand the importance..I did then and I still do..I make sure I have insurance for everything...when he did pass away I felt grateful even more for those lunches...I was the executrix and I had no problem with handling his business.I was able to concentrate on what I needed to focus on ..getting my father taken care of for his final resting place ..I do the same thing wih my kids now..talk to them about insurance and they do the same thing that I did 'OH mom, do we really have to talk about this,,you ain't going nowhere...." poor babies..they really believe that...God love 'em!!!

I'm way to young to have one of these!!!

Today is my oldest grandchilds 15th birthday..I'm not going to say it seems like only yesterday that she was born but it doesn't seem like 15 years!! She's a good girl and very pretty..at that age of boys...shes discovered them ..I'm trying to instill some of my knowledge on her..hopefully she will hear me and take heed...I told her its fine to feel ga ga over a boy ...jus not to let it interfere with her school work....nothing can come between you and your schoolwork I told her!!!I told her mom the same thing about 16 years or so ago...did no good..in one ear and out of the other...Only time will tell..I will keep my eyes on her and give her guidance every step of he way..I have big plans for her and she knows it...shes the oldest of seven grandchildren...her sister who is 6 is next in line..so heres an 8 year age gap beween the oldest and the second oldest...She has the weight of the world on her shoulders...not only is she he oldest of her mothers children but the role model for 6 babies under her...I will keep you posted on the developements as time marches on....Love you Shai!!Happy Birthday !!