Of all days to forget your glasses...

I remember walking past the cemetery and seeing a black mustang..I looked over cause he was passing us slow and looking at us...me and Connie...all of a sudden he lifted his hips up off the driver side and let us see him stroking himself...at first we were shocked...he let himself down..we laughed..Connie wasn't really sure she saw what she thought she saw because she didn't wear her glasses that day..she always wore her glasses..but not this day..we had walked "out town" on Main street to Woolworths..like we usually did on a Saturday morning..we got our allowances so we went to get a 45 record..I remember buying There's a Place in the Sun by Stevie Wonder...then this guy comes around..so he pulls off..slow ...and we kept walking..we were in our neighborhood and not scared at all..then he did it again..no one else was around..it was a quiet warm day...we just ignored him and he went away...we talked about it to each other..not sure we ever told anyone else...but it just came across my mind..Wonder if she remembers..I'm sure she will ...it's one of our many memories...like dating Barry Shaw and Ricky Ream...Oh My God...thats another story...

Me and Cathy skipped school so many times I can't even imagine how we passed school..but we did..we would borrow her sisters car and Cathy did most of the driving..we had to be 16..we stayed overnight on the weekends..would tell our parents that we were at a concert sponsored by a local radio station and it was an all weekend concert...could we stay?? back them they always said sure..we were "good kids" so they thought..I mean we weren't bad..but we sure had fun..I wish I would have documented those days..wish we would had taken pictures..not one picture of those times...down at Perkiomen Creek on the other side..had to get there off of River road..onto a dirt road that took you to the other side of the damn..if we parked off the street that only meant we were gonna swing off the ropes that were tied to a couple of trees..into the river or lake..it was big ..country water..with a damn ...one freind died cause he tried to walk across it and lost his balance..am sure he was drunk..I wasn't there that night..we hung with all guys...local guys from around that way..country motorcycle bad ass boys..some were 16, some were 18 some were 30 and older..but no one ever disrespected us in any way..I wound up "going with" a boy named Bruce aka Boo..went with for awhile..but I know he was a player and I wasn't always around..we did have to go home and go to school sometimes..and any chance we found we were headed to Perkiomen Creek..there was always someone there...

This was all back in the good ole days...the 60's.I was 16 when Woodstock took place..me and Cathy couldnt go..to far and we had school...but her older brother Eddie went..so envious...

All the guys we hung with were po' folk...they lived in hand built homes back off the road a bit..some barely had indoor plumbing..sometimes ya had to go to the local gas station to go...we slept in the rain and woke up muddy..we always scrounged some money up to go to the local little diner and get some breakfast...or we just simply ate at someones home...food was plentiful and they were happy to share it...the more you ate the happier they were...we had so much fun...I actually was introduced to my first husband thru a friend we hung with...If I knew then what I know now..how things would be so different today..everything happens for a reason...so they say....wonder what ever happened to old Boo...looked him up on facebook ..no go...maybe one day...

The Big Screen On Clearspring Rd...

I have so many stories I dont even know where to start...not sure there is a starting point.

When my mind goes back to my childhood which it often does...the one thing that is so vivid and I'm not sure why.. is the walk up Clearspring Rd after school each day..I never wanted to be a movie star or anything, but I always thought I was on the big screen.At the end of this very long block was a huge water tower with the words Lansdale on it...I use to pretend that that was the big movie screen and I was on it just for walking up the block toward it....that was all the big screen attention I needed...

Its the same block that I walked when my first real love followed me home and chased me up after I broke up with him.. because I thought he was flirting with a girlfriend of mine after seeing him kiss her hand gentlemanly like..like out of a movie..thats the only place I ever saw that in real life..still to this day I havent seen it.. 41 years later....anyway he followed me all the way home..into my house..still wanting to know why I'm breaking up with him and he was upset and I was upset...My parents started jumping on me ..telling me to give him another chance ..I didn't and that was the end.
I always had long hair.That evening I cut my hair real short because this boy liked my long hair and I thought I was spiting him...he didnt like that I had cut..so I did get to him...but I hurt myself in the long run...haven't cut my hair short since..

I had a nice relationship with this boy ...we were young I guess I was 15 and I believe him to be 16 or 17...I won't mention names here just in case..we never did anything..we just made out when my parents went out...and I was babysitting my two younger brothers..we made out for hours...I went to New York..Staten Island with him and his parents to meet his grandparents.. (he was an only child)..and had a dog named Amy...loved Amy..she was a St bernard...beautiful ..big dog..

His mom made me a pair of really pretty bluish green angora gloves for Christmas ..that I remember...they were beautiful and warm...

Christmas came while we were together and I remember getting him Jimi Hendrix's new album at the time called ELECTRIC LADYLAND..thats what he wanted..I got it for him..my brother got him a carton of cigarettes..yeah he smoked...and some cologne or something...I forget what he got me...I lived on Clearspring .he lived on 7th street...after his visits to my home I would walk him part way home..up towards the tower(my house was only 3 houses away from the end of the block where the tower was) and thru a field that St Mary's Manor was on...It was some sort of nursing home I think..I used to know ...at the end of the grassy part he let go of my hand and we would kiss goodbye...he walked his way...and I remember watching him for a few seconds..I would turn around and walk back to my home....my whole family liked him...I liked him...and we are friends on facebook now..he's married..I am married although I've been separated since 1991..he's in a band and they play all the time..thats not what he did to earn money ..but he was always into music..I was glad to see he had been in a band all this time..I never really knew what I wanted to do with my life..and I still don't ..but I'm happy doing what I do..

My friend since birth..Barb...

I can only hope to be able to write 1/10th of the memories I hold of Barbara and her family...her mom ,,her dad, and her 5 siblings...My mom and her mom were best friends I guess from high school on and they had kids together ...only Barbs mom had 6 and my mom only had 3...lol..they were both working woman and I remember they were co- brownie leaders and of course me and Barb were Brownies..Oh they were the days..meetings on Tuesday nights at St Johns church on the bottom floor...good times..we did crafty things..I think of those crafts sometimes and try to remember how to do them..some were really cool...We were in a parade in our little town and our theme was ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY TWO FRONT TEETH..and we had some sort of Head of a kid with his 2 front teeth missing..so cool...

We grew up together...both of our families lived in another little town first..then when one moved the other moved and in both towns we were only down the block from one another..I was always at their house..every day until I was 12...thats when we moved a few more blocks away....that was the year we started 7th grade...so now we didn't hang together so much anymore...we met other friends and I know for me I did different things with different people..We use to go swimming every day in the summer time..It was a small community pool and all the kids and adults went there..I got up early every morning for years because I took swimming lessons...loved that part of my life...

One thing me and Barb did was take tomatoes out of their garden and I took some from my grandparents garden...we ate them right then and there..fresh off the vine.til my lips got sore from the citric acid ...

I remember a few times Barb and I visited the newborn babies at the cemetery at St Stanislaus..I remember wondering why they only lived one day or 2 weeks ..and I remember feeling sad...we were only about 11 or 12 ...but it was something we did a few times....We used to play in a little playhose next to their house ..Bonnie's playhouse...we played school and talked and were just girls ...tweens...

I had a wonderful childhood..and a good bit of my greatest memories come from knowing and hanging with Barb...sometimes we hung with her older sister... She kissed Bill and I kissed Herman..me and Herman used to "date"..which meant we made out on his parents couch when everyone else was in bed...thats all we did was make out for hours...and hours...for months...we were young...and then we went on with our lives ...and went to the same school and grew up and grew apart...life..lol...

Over the years we had kept in touch off and on..Always able to find each other..then in June of 2008 we met in the little town that we grew up ..she lives in Hawaii and was coming to Pennsylvania for her sons wedding..we decided to meet at the park in the midddle of town..not far from our "neighborhood"..It had been 40 years at least if not more since we had seen each other..but it didn't seem like one minute had passed when I saw here...her hair is gray and long now..it was always short and brown...her face and her smile and her hands and her stature were exactly as I remembered..we hugged and cried for a minute or two..then we sat on the bench and talked for awhile....she is still tiny and petite...I've always been a chunky girl...now I'm fat..but she didnt look at me any different..it seemed like I was the same ole' Brenda to her..funny how that happens...I was nervous before we met...what would she think of how big I got?? I am disabled and I gained a lot of weight since I retired 7 years ago...

We sat and spoke for awhile and took pictures...my youngest daughter was with me and her husband was with her..when it was time for them to go we hugged and I promised I would get my health together so that I could go visit her in Hawaii...I am still trying to do that...In my heart,,and in my soul I will always love Barbara...she is and always will be an intricate part of my lifes story...she the beginnings and she will be there at the end...How lucky I am to have been a part of her life too...!! Thank you Lord...

Got a note from my mom....

I got a note from my mother the other day...in response to one that I had sent her the week before..I do that every now and then just to see how she is and to let her know I'm still alive..She said she just had a checkup..blood work and all and her health is good..thats great..shes 77 ..twenty years older than me...
The note actually had a ring of sincerity to it..she said to keep in touch and send pictures of the kids..I really need to get some paper pictures made ..everything is on the computer...I don't have any paper pictures of Jolie at all...I will send her pictures as soon as I get them and will try to send her a Christmas gift..I do when I can afford it..last year I couldnt and I probably wont be able to this year either..We will see..I have 7 grandchildren to buy for..and that ain't easy..I have been accumulating some things that I run across for a good price ..always keeping them in mind...I have slippers for Shai and some make up for her..she is 16...and I have little toys and tablets and dinosaurs for some of the little ones..not sure who's getting what...I will send her pictures of the kids at Christmas..she will love them...I wish she would come to my house for the holidays..but she won't...

most recent writings about my aging and my mother..

I notice age in my face over the last year of so..i can see my grandmother in me…thats a good thing..I can’t move as good as I used to…think my mind is still sharp..lol…I am bolder now than when I was young because I’ve earned everything I do and say ..i do care to a certain extent what others think about me..but my action or reaction to a situation has nothing to do with what others think about me..I am just me..and thats okay I think…I am calmer now than when I was younger..things that used to upset me dont so much anymore..I’ve learned its not worth raising your blood pressure over some things..I think I have finally matured at 57…lol..somewhat


I’ve been getting gray since I was 18…hereditary..i used to color it until about 10 years ago when the whole went blonde…not sure how..its not white..its not gray ..its blonde…I am naturally a strawberry brownish…my mom is a red head with frecklesand my dad was Italian…but now its blonde..crazy



I’m very pleased with each advancing year..It stems back to when I was forty..I was a bit upset about reaching that milestone, but an older friend consoled me "Don’t complain about growing old, many many people do not have that privelege…Earl Warren Chief justice 1891-1974

can you believe that a month ago I had to tell that to an 18 year old..my granddaughters friend..her birthday was coming in a few days and she put her head in her hands and said “OMG!” I’m gonna be 18…and I told her first of she sounded ridiculous saying that..lol..and then told her I knew people that passed at 14 or younger..so be glad you will see 18….

I dont remember thinking about age until recently…and I still love getting older…

my grandmother was always gray my whole life..she was 40 when I was born and thats all i ever knew her to be…a beautiful gray..thats the new style now..even young girls are dying their hair gray..lady gaga is on the front of a magazine with her hair gray

I do love aging…I love learning..but I have to be honest…the things I dont like about aging is losing some of the most important influential people in your life..friends and family begin passing away and your own mortality is right in front of you..I feel like I have so much more to do and will there be time..I don’t want to leave my grandchildren .I want to see them old..my grandmother passed when I was 50..we were both lucky..her seeing her oldest grandchild that old and me for having her in my life so long..I thank God for that..she was the most important person in my life …she passed away one week to the day after her 90th birthday ..from a fall..I had spoken to here right before the fall (13 days before her death) and she said to me " Can you believe I will be 90?" and I asked her how that felt…she said it was wonderful and that she wasn’t ready to go anytime soon..she wanted to stick around to see what happens…I spose she’s watching from above

About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age…Gloria Pitzer

the great secret that all old people share ist hat you really haven’t changed in 70 or 80 years…Your body changes, but you dont’t really change at all…Doris Lessing…

I remember about 10 years ago..i was visiting my youngest son at the supermarket he works in ..at the deli..it was the beginning of the month.around Social security check day..lol. and this \elderly woman was in front of me..she was just as crabby as ever..whining about nothings and just erking everyone..and I remember thinking to myself…Oh well shes old, let her be…hope I’m not like that when I get old…well the moral is..I am not like that because thats not me…so that cranky old woman is still the same as she ever was only older…she was probably always the one in the crowd to erk people..lol

The only thing that really saddens me at this time of my life is that where I thought I was gonna be right now I am not..I married at 19 had a baby at 19 divorced him by the time I was 22…remarried at 23 ..had 3 more babies…and have been separated from #2 for 20 years…we have 7 grandchildren and I thought we would be sharing that part of our lives together…he became such a loser (still is)that that dream became impossible…Its his loss I used to think..but its all our loss..my children don’t really have a relationship with their father and my grandchildren dont know their maternal grandfather..so sad…all the way around..but I shall move forward and continue to be the best grandmom they ever had and maybe that will help…lol

savor all the memories..have scrapbooks and photo albums full of them..but theres so much that is missing..but I don’t dwell on them I just made mention..but hopefull i can be like Judy and find love again..I would not hesitate ..I love love..but right now I need to take care of me…get my knees done and lose this weight ..then I can do my thing..lol…

..I have a big book called GRANDMOTHER REMEMBERS.and its along the lines of a baby book or a scrap book..it asks questions…like where did you meet grandpop etc..there are lots of pages for your own stories etc..and I have started it..I have no relationship with my mother..my kids barely know her and only my 16year old granddaughter has ever met her and we haven't seen her in 8 years now..but thats how she likes it..so there my kids missed out on a grandmother..although they had my grandmother in their lives..and my grandchildren dont know their great grandmother (my mother) so I have a lot of shoes to fill..but you know what..I’m just me and they love thier grandmom and I know that..and I feel it every time I see them…all 7 of them…I make it very easy for them to love me …because I love them…and they won’t miss a thing or want for anything

My grandmother used to tell us stories too..I wish she was here now cause I have lots of questions that my mother probably doesnt know the answers too..I know my grandmothers mother died of polio when my grandmother was aorund 14 ..and her father was killed by a truck rollin on him…my granmother was the oldest of 3 children and had two younger brothers that she raised…I also am the oldest and have two younger brothers…my mother was an only child..one day my grandmother was sitting on her back porch in her favorite chair and was just staring into her back yard..I asked her what she was thinking and she told me then that she had regretted not having more than one child..at that time my mom wasnt coming around a lot and that had a great impact on my grandmother…my grandmother was more of a mother to me than my own mother..my grandmom passed away after a fall in 2002..my mother is 77 and I just got a letter from her saying she was doing fine and told me to write and send more pictures of the grands.I always write to her and try to send pictures of her great greandchildren and I send gifts for Christmas and her birthday and mothers day..even though we havent really had a relationship since I was 19..I am now 57…I learned a lot from my mom on how not to be…

To my granddaughter Gabriella Mae

My Dear Gabby,

You had grandmom and mommy and daddy scared there for awhile...just really puts things into perspective when someone you love is hurting...I wanted to hurt for you...I felt sick in my stomach..I've heard of bad things happening with that stinkin asthma and at a time like that we are all helpless...You are in the hands of the doctors and nurses that are caring for you..and God above..Had lots of people praying for you..I know I did...I am so happy you are home and feeling better and I hope that never happens to you again..Hopefully , you will outgrow this monster...We all just have to keep our eyes on you...and you have to remember to have your inhaler with you...Grandmom loves you baby girl...can't wait to see you...You are so cute and sweet...(most of the time)...Love you honey..Love Grandmom...10/16/10